don’t forget that it’s water day / pajama day / book character dress up day / wear an orange shirt for the pep rally on Thursday so they’ll need a swimsuit and a change of clothes in addition to all the rest don’t forget have you signed that permission slip / bought the yearbook yet / paid the class parent for the teacher gift it’s ok I’ve got it today death by a thousand venmo payments my daughter says they need 12 stuffed eggs to bring to school by Wednesday no candy please now here’s a fun challenge how fast can Amazon deliver eggs stuffed with plastic carcinogens shaped like toys let’s see did you remember the spring concert is this week followed by a picnic where we’ll stand in line at the pizza truck making small talk tediously which sounded like a good idea until the rain comes and then abates and my daughter asks why didn’t you bring flowers for my performance mom for the talent show I did buy a dozen bouquets pooling the grocery store run among families arriving with a bucket of blooms like a florist so I guess I see why it’s confusing hard to predict all these expectations our grand gestures breed and what are you packing for the theme nights at sleep away camp where we will deposit them chirping and frenetic in just 9 days dress up like your favorite food what kind of torture is this what kind of theme is that I guess it’s time to speed wash your soccer / baseball / swim team kit since it was discovered discarded again on your floor and we need to leave for the game in minutes someone load the chairs up in the car please that appointment with the dermatologist / doctor / heaven forbid, lice ladies is at 2 don’t forget can you ask them about this other thing while you’re at it I just realized I won’t be home in time to pick them up can they ride along with you let me cast a line out and see who can catch my fish today let’s play this fun game we love called logistical Tetris time to be the mystery reader / sign up for parent teacher conferences / register for next season’s sports charade there’s a deadline in bold red font don’t forget time to bring birthday cupcakes for the class! don’t be ridiculous they’re from Publix can you make it there by 11:40 yes, yes except I'm at the wrong campus shimmy on over to the right address attempt to catch them at recess it’s time for the end of year class party! who has a fun activity for 25 second graders at their fingertips good God I’m too late to sign up for the napkins
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this made me giggle and so relatable.