exiting the wizarding world

2024

when we finished the book 
I nearly cried
the last, at last
had to pen in the erupting 
feelings of all these hours 
these pages, these years
chase them back up into an armful’s grasp
herded like cats
unmeant to be contained
a few strays of course weaseling through
my voice cracked

as the words ran out I couldn’t help but 
miss in advance the 
voices
the cast of theirs 
I had practiced and honed 
over hundreds
of chapters
could click into on a dime
the small high-pitched 
Disney princess quality of 
yours I wish you wouldn’t 
outgrow
the evenings we spent 
configurations of the four of us
elbows out fighting 
for time for this
amidst the chaos of every evening’s 
witching hour demands
the wrestling matches 
on the bed I quelled
to restore your attention
the recurring battle for who would 
occupy the coveted spot
just next to me 
despite there being no
pictures to see
the way you begged for more 
words
more pages, more time
in the end
as time was running thin

how here you learned 
that loving something deeply
is so inextricably enmeshed
with the
constant terrible act of 
propulsion 
and 
release
the inconvenient fact that
it’s all dance of longing
of having
and at once
a painstaking
perpetual
rueful 
letting go