the end of myself

2021

I 
reached the bottom 
and kept digging
till my fingers bled 
and my muscles shook
my being quivered
my body spent

and then kept going 
for months 
until the grim cloud was a skin
leaden and consuming

I gritted and ground 
until the teeth cracked
pressure, like interest
compounding 
leaving a
skeletal graveyard of 
raw nerves reacting

you 
stressed your way 
into a new heartbeat
an errant offramp carved
of bourbon and caffeine

what the fuck are we doing
self-inflicting these injuries